Day one.

First things first, here is a video tour of my flat, where I'm living with 12 other interns about my age. For 300 rupees ($60) a month, this place is better than anything I could have found on my own, and the convenience of having in-house wireless is definitely not something I'm taking for granted. There is no air conditioning, but the fans keep the place livable, and the jugs of filtered water are replaced on a daily basis. You'd be a madman to want anything but a cold shower here, and just as well, because that's all there is. The laundry is usually done by hand, and there's a cleaning lady who comes in and sweeps in the morning.

(Ah, blast! my video is failing to upload with this spotty internet. Will post soon.)

I woke up early this morning to the sounds of vendors yelling out their wares in the street below. I went out the door for a walk, and promptly learned rule number one: do not so much as step out the door on an empty stomach, without carrying money. Smells of sweet fried dough wafted out from every corner.

One of my roommates walked me to the Lajpat Nagar (the name of the district where I live) Central Market a little later, dropping me off at the main thoroughfare before heading to work. I had a list of specific supplies to buy, but quickly realized that I had no idea where to look, and ended up just wandering the strip with my hands in my pockets trying to act normal.

My stomach, running dangerously low, led the way. I wanted to find a sit-down place to have a solid meal, but when one didn't materialize, I turned to the street vendors. Common sense says that the more crowded the station, the better, but this also required that my freakishly Chinese self ask for food in front of a handful of staring locals. These particular vendors didn't speak English, and they kept glancing at me bemusedly while they made my chapati.

Oh, that chapati. Whole wheat dough, rolled flat, sprinkled with salt, slapped onto a preheated skillet, and slathered with ghee (clarified butter). Feeling too foolish to stand around eating it, I plopped down under a giant Nokia sign, and wolfed it down with a yellow lentil sauce for dipping. Quest for food not quite over, I made my way to the first fruit stand I found, and bought some ripe mangoes and kiwis for 140 rupees (< $3). A few hours later, under the suggestions of several others, I sought my first sit-down meal at a place called Tibetan Kitchen, about ten minutes walk from my flat. Sat down at one of the ten tables, and five minutes later, I got my steaming bowl of thukpa: noodles in a beef broth with scallions and sweet basil, with a few pickled peppers and chili paste for a personal touch.

Stay tuned for more culinary adventures.

On anger.

Recent tweets between Justin and me.

Me: Anger is useless.
Justin: Wrong. Anger protects you from pain.
Me: Wrong. Anger causes pain.
Justin: Tell you what. How about we each write a blog post about our views on anger and pain?

The immediate cause of anger is typically an external source that does some kind of harm or poses some kind of threat. A person becomes angry toward something or someone; the feeling is one of indignance, of being wronged, of needing to preserve one's dignity or position or control.

I allow that there might be some natural reason behind the feeling of anger. Perhaps we're hardwired to feel anger, because as cavemen, it provoked our bodies to tense up and prepare to deal with dangerous and often life-threatening situations. Feelings of anger are strong motivations to act against what has harmed us.

It's true, there is no emotion that makes me feel more like an unrestrained animal than anger. In the very few times I have been uncontrollably angry in my life, I respond with a series of uncontrollable reactions: my voice becomes loud, my heart thuds, adrenaline pumps, my hands wave around wildly, my eyes blaze. This is not the picture of a highly evolved, modern, rational, problem-solving human being.

I say that anger is useless and that it causes pain because it achieves nothing, usually exaggerates or exacerbates the problem, and leaves a person more mentally drained than if he had just thought objectively about the situation.

Of course, anger is impossible to avoid completely. Here, it is useful to differentiate between feelings of anger and actions of anger. Feelings often can't be helped, but the inability to control when feelings bleed over to action can be considered a psychological weakness. I say all this with my recent infuriating experiences in mind. I raged and I screamed into my pillow, but to what end? There was nothing that came of it, and only when my head had cooled could I take useful steps towards solving my problem.

It is difficult to conjure examples of people approaching a situation constructively when angry, and the vast, vast majority of situations in which people get angry are not serious enough to merit the emotion at all.

The floor is open for discussion.

Blue-faced rant.

First in a series of unfortunate events, the Chinese consulate delayed the renewal of my passport by a full two weeks. Despite telling me that I would receive it by August 17th, and despite my repeated phone calls when that date came and went, they continued to put it on hold at their office. Their only reason was that the Chicago office, where I applied, did not have Tennessee under their jurisdiction, despite my expressly telling them from the beginning that I paid Illinois taxes for four years, and despite getting the okay from an official during the application process.

By this time, I already had to send an official email to my company telling them to push my start date back from September 1st to September 15th. Frustrating, yes, but it pales to the ensuing mess of getting my visa.

Immediately upon receiving my passport, I shipped it out again to get it visa-approved. At first, I applied for a 6-month employment visa, but they called me from the beginning to tell me that my salary wouldn't be big enough for that type of visa. That was reasonable enough, so I switched my application to a 6-month entry visa. Fee of $113 paid.

The website specifically says that non-US citizens could expect a processing time of 4-6 days. Six days later, I called them asking about the status, only to hear a sleepy voice say, "Oh actually, you're a Chinese citizen, so the processing time is 2-3 weeks."

What? So now, I had to send another official email to the company pushing my start-date yet again to October 1st. By now, this is starting to reflect badly on me.

But surprise, this morning, I received an email saying that my passport has been shipped out with a visa successfully processed, and that I will be receiving it tomorrow in the mail.

What's this? Something happening on time? Dare I say, with some degree of efficiency? I called them once more to confirm, only to hear the same unthinking voice have this conversation with me:

"Your visa was only issued for 3 months."
"Why?!"
"Because you're a Chinese citizen."
"But my credit card was charged for the full 6 months!"
"We don't do refunds."
"Can't you give me a better reason for the shorter-term issue?"
"Talk to the FRRO (Foreign Regional Registration Officers)."
"Will I be able to extend this to 6 months?"
"Talk to the FRRO."
"But I have a job lined up in India! It was you who told me to switch it to an entry visa, and now, that job contract is not recognized in the visa I've been issued!"
"There's nothing I can do about it."

Not once did they notify me that my 6-month request would be denied. Not once was I given the impression that Chinese citizens would be given this impartial treatment. There must be some other legitimate reason my request was denied, but they purposefully eluded an explanation. Instead of trying to help me solve my problem, they point me to another faceless agency whose fine print I must dig through all over again. This entire month-long process of making travel preparations culminates in a 3-month visa, issued from government agencies run by automatons. The worst part of this is how helpless I feel.

I can see how this is profitable for them. They charged my card the full price, and only give me half the product, knowing full well that I'd be willing to pay extra to get the full product like I originally requested. My incentives and the incentives of these government bureaucrats don't line up. Did I mention that the only reason why I didn't want to go for more than 6 months is because I'd otherwise have to pay a ridiculous and unnecessary $450 re-entry permit back into the US?

If I don't get to go to India for more than 3 months, my dreams for the entire past year will have been dashed. This will not be the end of it.

UPDATE// What at first was indignation, now is panic. According to everything I've read so far, it seems like a virtual impossibility to get a 3-month visa extended. I've never felt anger of this intensity, but I simply can't find anywhere to direct it. I'm screaming curses at a towering wall of giant suited men, and they don't give a shit about me. I'm small, insignificant, just another applicant, just another ripple in the stream of paperwork that they sift through, 9-5, every day, every week, every year. This problem doesn't have a face.